Part 15

Yoonshik's Sister, Part two

[Jaeshin steps out of school with the excuse that he is going to "go buy a hat", but Yongha predicts Jaeshin is evading the school meeting in which the west and east dormitory votes on which new student to deliver letters. Yoonhee observes how divided the political factions are when she sees that the seojae picks a noron student and dongjae picks a soron without fail, despite the fact that there are other few students within each dormitory that is not of the same faction. All this while, Sunjoon is also constantly being pressured to remove himself from dongjae from other students.

Yongha notes that Yoonhee is probably going to be alone with Sunjoon today, since their vacation day is two days away there's no reason Jaeshin will come back for one more day of classes. Yoonhee is both excited and nervous...]

Even though the two are alone in the room, nothing is different. Yoonhee still has to study to be able to follow the course content, and Sunjoon has his head buried in his book, as expected. Yoonhee loses all the anxiousness as she realizes that she has to stick to her studies or else she won't be able to pass the next class. After the first class, it's just a miracle for her that she can get through a class without professor Jang calling her out. On top of that, professor Yoo's classes are so fast-paced she is having a hard time just reading what he assigned, never mind studying it closely.

When the books pile up one by one on her desk, she senses a strange feeling from Sunjoon. Even though he has his book open, his pages aren't turning. Even though he isn't showing it, his expression is dark, and Yoonhee can't find herself able to ignore him. So she closes her book. She approaches his desk and puts her elbow on it, holding her chin up with her hand. Sunjoon, a little startled at first, smiles.

"What is it?"

"Let's play. It seems like you don't want to study either."

Sunjoon jokes, "how did you come to such an idea? It seemed like after you came into Sungkyunkwan, you spent all your time with your books and hardly gave me the time of day."

"When did I do that?"

"You did."

She wasn't ignoring him--she was trying to be careful not to meet his gaze. It seems like every time she is in front of him, she ends up reverting back to her female self. And with Yongha always around, she has to stay wary. No, she should be wary, with just anyone, not just Yongha.

That one day when she woke up, realizing she fell asleep before Sunjoon and Jaeshin did... She still can't shake off the shock from that day. She went through heaven and hell wondering whether she was found out, until Jaeshin and Sunjoon woke up. Thankfully it seemed like they did not notice anything. Even so, she still can't shake off the shock. That's why she is being more careful now than ever.

Yoonhee relaxes at the sight of Sunjoon's smile.

Sunjoon asks, "are you trying to comfort me?"

"Is there something you should be comforted about?" (Note, Yoonhee does know that Sunjoon's unhappy with the peer pressure, but she is trying to joke it off to make him feel better).

Sunjoon looks at Yoonhee's face. He finds himself smiling as he looks at Yoonhee's expression. How can a man make such a lovable face? Yoonhee realizes that she has made a woman's face yet again and reverts her voice and expression back to that of a "man's".

"You came into dongjae because you didn't want to be picked, right? You wanted to avoid the fight between the norons and sorons..."

"There's no one reason someone does anything."

It's a vague answer, but the best that Sunjoon can give her. How could he say, he wanted to stay close to the person in front of him, and that he came to dongjae because it was easier that he came here than to bring Kim Yoonshik into seojae? He says to Yoonhee,

"I know we are study buddies, but don't you think we could be good play buddies, too?"

"Hmm?"

"What should we do? Maybe it'll be fun to do math together?" (Sunjoon, representing all the nerds out there).

Yoonhee thinks to herself, he comes up with math, for play. He is something else--it's frustrating enough to give her a headache. Yoonhee makes fists with her hand and exclaims, "but we always do that with other students!"

"But..."

"Let's just talk."

"Talk about..."

"Just make conversation! There's no saying only women enjoy gossip."

"Ah, isn't conversing just talking? You're right, men do enjoy their share of talking..."

"It's true. It seems like men talk a lot too. They talk so much, but they always ignore women for doing the same and try to hush them..."

She stops, as she realizes she's speaking again from a woman's point of view. She chastises herself in her head.

"You always seem so understanding of others. You're right--us men try to understand too little about how a woman might think."

"A--ah, yes. But I still can't seem to understand how they think, though. Ha, ha.. ha."

"Same with me. Speaking of women, I have something to ask..."

"I told you, I don't know very much about women!"

"About your sister..."

My sister? Yoonhee thinks, by "your sister", he means... me. She is startled, and confused about what expression or answer she should give.

"When I met her that time, she didn't speak at all. It might be rude of me to ask, but is she..."

From his tone, Yoonhee realizes that he is trying to ask if she is a mute.

"N-no! It was because she was outside, and she was probably really embarrassed that a man like you was speaking to her...I mean, that's what she told me. And my sister is usually very quiet..."

She stammers through her answer, and continues, determined to make a good impression of "Yoonshik's sister" on Sunjoon.

"She's very quiet and mature and...smart...and beautiful! And she is...somewhat skilled at sewing. Just a little. She can read pretty well, and... and she is kind!"

She wants to say more good things, but she can't seem to think of anything else. Sunjoon smiles. "I heard that she is older than you. How come she still hasn't..."

"Ah, she was too busy helping me with my illness and looking after our family."

Sunjoon looks down, as though he feels sympathetic. Yoonhee doesn't want to see his sympathy so she also lowers her head and says quietly,

"But she is not that old. She's only one year older than me, and so one year younger than you.  I…I mean, I guess twenty is a little late to be unmarried still."

"I felt bad looking at the state of her clothes."

"Please don't say that. I... I mean, my sister... My sister isn't such a pitiful person to warrant your sympathy."

"It's not sympathy or pity. Your sister is a woman, also--wouldn't she want to wear good shoes and pretty clothes? She is sacrificing all of that to support you; how can I not sympathize with such an admirable person? I only felt bad seeing her clothes because I was embarrassed of the costly clothing I was in."

Yoonhee hugs her knees and looks up to Sunjoon. Even though it was just in passing, she remembers "Yoonshik's sister" as being happy to have met Sunjoon that time. She wants to let Sunjoon know.

"My sister told met to let you know that it seemed like you were a good person."

"How come you are just telling me this now?"

"She said that your voice is very nice as well."

"Ah... I couldn't even hear her voice."

"She said that you were handsome, and that it seemed like your face was glowing."

"She saw my face? How unfair! I did not even get to see a single strand of her hair."

"She said she was comforted just by your presence by her side."

Yoonhee is sitting in front of Sunjoon now, not as a man, but a woman. Her hair is long. She is wearing a bright, red skirt. In Yoonhee's imagination, Yoonhee is turning her head from Sunjoon, hiding her shy face with her sleeve. In Sunjoon's imagination as well, Yoonshik is sitting in front of him, but as Yoonshik's sister. He is startled by what he just fantasized, and tries to calm himself down. Did I just fantasize about Kim Yoonshik dressed in women's clothing? Even though it was just an imagination, how could I just do that? And then feel nervous? How can I call myself a sunbi?

"What are you two doing, sitting across from one another."

Yoonhee, who was lost in her own thoughts, almost screams at Yongha's entry. She barely stops herself, and replies, "we were just making conversation. Why is Yeo-rim sahyung here?"

"To play. Include me in your conversation!"

It seems like Yongha is always here. He was here yesterday, and the day before. It almost seems as though they are sharing a room with him, except that he sleeps elsewhere. So it's almost no use to ask him why he is here. Yongha settles down in the room and says, "I can't breathe if I don't surround myself in a woman's scent -- but for some reason, it seems lately as though I can get by whenever I come into this room. Isn't it strange?"

For Yongha, Yoonhee laughs loudly like a man and responds, "hahaha, it must be the scent coming from Chosun's underclothes that's keeping you breathing."

It's almost a good thing that Yongha frightens her, since it means she can stay alert. Thanks to him, she is now able to get through other hurdles without struggling, and it seems like other students haven't noticed anything else.

"Anyway, what were you two talking so intensely about?"

"We were talking about Daemul doryung's sister."

"Oh, really? Daemul has a sister? If she looks like you, she must be beautiful."

Yongha feels like he's onto something here. Yoonhee, wary of Yongha, looks once towards Sunjoon, and says, "S...she is."

She is embarrassed to be basically bragging about herself, but she really does not want to say in front of Sunjoon that her "sister" is not good looking. She was hoping that Sunjoon would only think good things about her. And to her surprise, Sunjoon takes her side.

"I saw her too, and she was indeed very beautiful."

"What? You saw her?"

Sunjoon meant that her kindness and maturity was beautiful, but the way he spoke, Yongha thinks that Sunjoon must really have met "Yoonshik's sister". Yoonhee smiles as she realizes that Sunjoon has just helped her out--Yongha was obviously suspecting that Yoonshik's sister was indeed the Kim Yoonshik sitting in front of them.

So Yongha falls deeper into confusion. But no matter--he was still enjoying his time here. Even though he is suspicious of Kim Yoonshik, he's come to enjoy his company. Yongha was starting to like Yoonshik enough to really hope that he was a man.

"Then, I want to meet her, too."

"Even if I showed her to everyone else, I wouldn't let you meet her."

"What? Why?"

"In this entire region, the wind more frightening than a typhoon is Yeorim sahyung's wind (note--wind is called 바람 baram, and a 바람둥이 baram-doong-yi is someone who is a playboy, someone who goes from women to women easily like the wind). From the rumors, they say there's no type of women you haven't been with. So until you fix that problem of yours there is no meeting my sister."

"Wow, that's harsh. Then I guess I will never be able to meet your sister."

He would rather keep being a playboy for the rest of his life? Whoever his wife is, I feel sorry for her. Yoonhee is angry thinking about the amount of women Yongha must have hurt in his life, but she tries to not let it show. Yoonhee starts chewing on the snacks Yongha brought to take out her anger, when Yongha asks Sunjoon,

"Look here, Garang. Don't you think Daemul doryung is very pretty-looking?"

Yoonhee starts coughing on her snack. She grabs a bowl of water while the other two talk.

"Yes, I think so too."

"That's why I'm asking you: did you ever suspect that Daemul doryung here could be a woman?"

Yoonhee stands still in shock. It feels as though the floor beneath her is collapsing. She is unable to do anything. She is frozen, and her insides are in chaos. She doesn't know what to do. It would be weird to get angry, and weird to brush it off. Would it be weird to just laugh it off? He's not even asking her directly, so would they find it strange that I pipe in angrily? Then she hears Sunjoon's reply.

"Does Yeorim sahyung always look at a person that way? It's true that Daemul doryung is beautiful. It's not a bad thing that he is beautiful, but why do you try to make him feel bad about it by suspecting such a thing? Daemul doryung, as I know him, is a man among men! Have you been spending your time so much with women that you can't tell a man from a woman?"

Yoonhee sinks in confusion. It's good that he doesn't suspect her, but it's also disappointing how naturally he thinks that she is a man. She knows he is taking her side, but it's not so nice to hear that she is a "man among men".

Yongha replies, "how scary you are! I was just curious only because he is so manly that it doesn't match his face. Then Garang, if there was a woman just like Daemul, what do you think she would be like as a wife? Someone with the same looks and intellect, but just a different gender. It's not so rude to just imagine someone like that, is it?"

Yoonhee, unable to calm herself, keeps shoving snacks into her mouth. But Sunjoon does not answer for a while--it seems as though he is thinking about it. Before he can speak, Yoonhee speaks up.

"Why does Yeorim sahyung engage in such worthless imaginations? Please stop. There's no woman just like me anyway."

Then Sunjoon turns to Yongha and says, "you shouldn't imagine a woman just like Daemul doryung as a wife."

What, to him, am I not good enough unless I am just Kim Yoonshik, a man? It seems like her heart is sinking lower and lower. She tries to smile to cover her disappointment, but she can't smile very easily. But Sunjoon continues.

"It's not right to be so greedy. So one shouldn't imagine a woman who doesn't exist in the world."

"It's not right? Why is wanting a woman like Daemul being greedy?"

"Because to me, there isn't a more ideal woman."

Yoonhee's heart quickly finds it's original place. She brightens, when the door opens. Jaeshin comes in, and Yongha looks as though he's seen a ghost.

"What are you doing back?!"

Jaeshin ignores Yongha and says to Sunjoon, "there isn't a woman more ideal that one just like Daemul? You must be crazy. A woman who doesn't listen, and answers to you with such an attitude? A wife just needs to be a little smarter than a fool. If she is too smart and knows too much, it'll be annoying and loud."

Jaeshin takes off his dopo and hangs it in his closet.

"How did you come back without passing a night? You usually don't come back when you step out."

"I told you I went to buy a hat. I went and bought a hat."

He is really wearing a hat. He takes off his hat and after showing Yongha, puts it onto the shelf above the door.

"Never mind your hat--I'm asking why you're back! This is so unlike you!"

"Eish, I came back early because I thought these two might do it it my room!"